Where My Problem Began & Wake Up Call

Today we were talking about eating disorders in Health Class. I am sure you have heard of binge eating (I am referring to type when you overeat AND don't throw it all back up). When we we were talking about it I thought back to about 5 or 6 years when I went from a chubby to an obese child. I was a bit depressed when a was 6 and 7 because I was bullied back then. Dinner time was my favorite time of the day, that's when I could cope. I'd always be first to make my plate, and I gobbled it up fast. Then, once my parents went outside I'd quickly dash to the kitchen oven and grab up an extra handful of pasta, potatoes, and some other complex carb and swallow it all in one bite. I'd repeat my mouth stuffing handfuls until my brother or parents came. I remember after my episodes feeling so angry with myself. Eventually after this became a habit, my parents and older brother were concerned. However there was no stopping me. Once I was alone and in an episode of cravings, my table manners definitely weren't pretty. By 3rd grade my the bullying stopped and I didn't binge anymore. However after the binging became a habit, I still overate. Thinking about those memories was a wake up call. I have probably had an eating disorder. Soon after my binging stopped, I went through puberty. That's right, I went through puberty in fourth grade. I was blessed with blackheads and pimple breakouts. Of course rude classmates would ask me daily, "Do you wash your face?" Out of sympathy my parents let me spend some of my allowance on facial cleansers. I would spend hours reading up skin care tips. Soon after facial cleansers weren't the only cosmetics I pleaded to have.



As I was said before I was in Health class watching a slide show on binge eating, and after that my Health teacher had us write two paragraphs on we liked about ourselves. Obviously, I didn't raise my hand because I could only name a couple things. A girl about my size did raise her hand, and she could name lots of modest compliments about herself, at least twice the amount of likes I had written.



Just thought I would write about today, it's been a bit of a wake up call. Did I mention I am sick of being fat? I think I deserve to be happier for once. Talk to you soon.